My Mum seems to absolutely despise me?

Just because someone becomes a parent doesn't mean they're a good and decent human being. Your parents sound as though they weren't ready to have a child and are now left feeling angry and resentful about it. (NOT your fault, by the way.) Your mother does sound as though she has personality disorder or bipolar disorder. These things (your mother's possible mental illness, your father's lack of drive to deal with the situation, and their horrible parenting) are nothing you can fix. You sound as though you've been trying very hard in a very difficult situation and that's admirable, but I worry about the effect it is having on your own mental state. I would highly recommend trying again with a counselor. The sad truth is that you most likely never have the relationship you want and need with your parents. What you can do is accept that fact and move on and fill your life with people who truly do care about you and who are glad to have you in their lives. Getting out from the situation of living with your parents will most likely be a very good thing for you. You will gain perspective and distance and realize that not all people who are in your life are mean, angry, and spiteful. The best of luck to you!